dreaming our futures
dream archive
video description: a songspell ripples and envelopes, cozy and warm, co-crafted and cast in care-filled crip community for dreaming our futures + embodying our dreams. we’re dreaming of making space. soft blurs of green and golden fabric (shaped into alexa dexa’s bed opera costume by Rebirth Garments) shimmer and slowly shift with the peach pink of alexa dexa’s body in motion. our libretto, co-crafted by all, floats to the top. sound descriptions by Hayley Ku’unani float to the bottom within brackets. all text is handwritten by alexa dexa, half-script scribbles and etches. sounds are shared by alexa dexa and their toychestra, our gorgeous crip community, and live electronic processing in maxmsp.
what i would love to do is to get into our songspell co‑crafting moment and normally we give a little graphic that says co‑crafting our songspell and space to wish but i’m just sharing that that’s what we’re doing now because my computer is tired, we’re gonna say.
so we’re here. we’re in the space. there’s a little pink sort of cloud shape to the sort of left of our area and in this space i’ll be writing down whatever sort of anchor messages and dreams and spells we want to be rooted in as we move forward and as we’re here now and as we think about the past and all the potential futures. it’s been really lovely getting to dream about nourishing with you, dreaming about relief and getting out of a rut, dreaming about how we do this together.
and so to just sort of give us some insight or some inspiration or some potential guidance on some things that we might dream on or that might resonate, i’m going to shuffle some cards from my dreaming our futures + embodying our dreams oracle//composition deck. i’m just shuffling here. the cards are about the size of my hands so they are quite large to shuffle. and i’m just thinking about some energies, what energies feel good to guide us today. and if they resonate with you, that’s wonderful. and if they don’t and you want to dream on something completely different, that’s totally welcome as well. this is just sort of a potential, one of many.
okay. so i’m getting the cards in one space and i’m selecting one for us. and okay. this card is a card that reads making space and it’s got a crayon drawing of a purple diamond with many other pastel pink and purple smaller diamond shapes within it. there’s also a lot of open space to the left of this card. it’s a little bit glitch art, and, making space. making space — this is absolutely something that we’re already doing. it’s a dream that’s already coming true. but i think it’s also a question about what are some of the things that maybe are on the periphery that are maybe like trying to get our attention and saying hey! try doing me now! what about some of this? or like ‑‑ yeah, feeling about, so where are things feeling cramped? what’s feeling like it’s maybe a feeling of closing in instead of a feeling of opening? and how can we make more room? what do we want to make more room for? so it’s not even just the making of the space. it’s ‑‑ so we make the space and we clear the path, but what do we want to bring in? what do we want to shape and make that space for? how do we want that space to shape us and what do we want it to offer and how do we want to offer that space?
okay. there’s a little corresponding spell poem which might also give some, a tiny extra clarity and so i’m just gonna read this from the guidebook and it says:
making space
coming to
grips
as a process of
ungripping
so i’ll read it again. it says:
making space
coming to
grips
as a process of
ungripping
and so i think also ‑‑ uh, past me thinking about being in flare and thinking about making space. and yeah, i think there really is something beautiful about the way where ‑‑ sometimes to make space for something it’s not an act of doing. it is an undoing. it’s ‑‑ what are we holding on really tight to that we can let go of so that, for example, like our hands don’t have to hold as much.
so, what i’m gonna do is get myself a little situated here and write down making space. and i’m also just gonna write down a process of ungripping. and if there’s anything that’s sort of calling to you, any messages, any dreams, any visions, any spells – it could have to do with making space or it could have to do with anything. truly anything that you’re wanting to call in, that you’re wanting to remember, that you’re wanting to put out into the world and have it returned to you in ways we can’t possibly know about right now, you can feel free to unmute to speak and share your thoughts, you can add them to the chat and x will read them aloud. whatever is accessible and joyful for you, yeah. really excited to enter into this co‑crafting a songspell space with you.
making space
a process of
ungripping
keeping warm
unfreeze your being
stuck in the grip
to move to your goal
we’re not frozen in place
let go and surrender
yearning to release my grip
on pandemic anger
healing comfort harmony
acceptance compassion
revisiting + growing = gardening
in concentric circles
upwards
moving towards inertia
making space
for utter
vulnerability
we get to have a space
for happiness and peace
even when everything
is coming apart
i do not need to push
to make space
do not always need
to do more
i can let go
let the spiral take me
up and away
down into my grief
all i need
is to integrate more
and i can take
all the time i need
when things fall
sometimes catching them
will cause too much harm
letting things shatter
so that we can heal
UN-GRIPPING
allowing personal truth
to take the lead
giving myself room
to be bad at things
to make terrible art
so i can learn
new skills and practices
to find magic
in unexpected places
reaching – grasping –
gripping – releasing – breathing
wishing for cozy days
and soft cocoons
writing – reflecting – breathing
intuitive movement
rest, pacing, gentleness
creativity, curiosity
in time i will need
to leave this space
but i can come back again
as long as i remember the way
repetition is sacred
love is healing
i haven’t found
my space in this world
but this world
has space for me
life is not just
happening to me
i am happening to life
this world is co-created
it is common
for brain systems
to settle in energetic minimums
when this happens
adding noise to the system
can free it to circle around
new attractors
in a different phase state
shedding feeling
of worthlessness
and inviting
feelings of belonging
love is an action and a feeling
sometimes things feel so
urgent, stressful
set in stone
life or death
making space for the unexpected
for kindness and support
the middle ground
making space
within a difficult situation
for peace and slowness
slowness
slowness
slowness
sound description by Hayley Ku’unani.
[bells and textures set the scene for making space]
[contrast of gristles and crackles pierce through the portal of potentiality]
[the tinkling of the toychestra is accompanied by whistling and vocalisations]
[‘i do not need to push to make space’ affirmed and declared with the ‘ungripping’]
[ethereal vocalisations drenched in reverb and vibery serenade the landscape of space creation]
[the harmonica glides in tonal territories]
[textures build alongside alexa dexa’s operatic singing style of the libretto]
[reversals of textures, low tones and higher frequencies shimmer in the soundscape]
[a choir of voices and sounds grow to envelop with swelling synths]
[static and sweet serenades build alongside synths and bells]
[angelic vocals and bells shedding feelings of worthlessness]
[cascading synths and reversals canvas the creation of space of the songspell]
[a grand gradient of anticipation crescendos, layered with shimmering reversals and gentle ambience]
[percussive and rhythmic tapping echoes and undulates, woven between the layers of the songspell]
[a melting of voices and frequencies submerge and re-emerge]
[high frequency drone holds the container of space creation]
[maxmsp making magic of looped repetition, introducing new elements to the songspell]
[i can let go echoes]
[bouncing synths squelch beside rattling percussive textures]
[otherworldly high frequency tones create an extraterrestrial cascade against the libretto]
[piercing tones ring around vocalisations that ebb, flow, weave, grieve and dream]
[a voice affirms shedding feelings of worthlessness and inviting feelings of belonging]
[warm words and vocalisations nurture the ever-evolving soundscape]
[patches of maxmsp reverses and repeat, reinstating the collective intention]
[textures and sound begin to fade into the hums of manifestation and completion]
group portrait <3
