do you have nightmares?

are you a person of nightmares such that for whom nightmares are a worn and weary-making companion of concerning constancy?

me too! sooo many flavors of personal and collective apocalypse! how fun!

that’s exactly what brought me to my current line of work: nightmare wrangling.
i brought my toy pony and my lasso made of yarn so you know i’m serious

[gif of me lassoing around on tiny toy pony on a verdant lawn.]

we’re talking about wrangling as in taking charge of. and that’s what we’re gonna do with your nightmares. a plan in three steps.

what makes a good nightmare wrangler?

but first – what qualifies me, alexa dexa, a crip xXgrandmacoreXx sound witch and chronic haver of nightmares, as a tried and true nightmare wrangler to put your trust in? surely you’re curious and wanting to know.

here is my wrangling resume:

but i guess there’s only one way to find out just how qualified i am – tell me your wildest and weirdest nightmares and i’ll wrangle them right on up.

nightmare wrangling: step one

let’s wrangle your nightmares! tell them to me! here’s what i’m gonna do – i’m gonna listen real carefully, take tiny detailed notes in a flurry of messy scribbles, and i’m gonna herd your nightmares on up and place them gently in a little nightmare corral. adorable!

nightmare wrangling: step two

let’s set you up with new dreams to dream! what are you wishing you were dreaming about instead of your nightmares? what life-affirming dreams do you want to dream right on into your very own life? we’re gonna find out! here’s what i’m gonna do – i’m gonna give you a cozy crip dream reading with my dreaming our futures + embodying our dreams oracle//composition deck. it’ll be giving a sweet lil dream to dream on, a gorgeous lil guide into the dream realm of your choosing, and wondrous nighttime joys!

nightmare wrangling: step three

we’re putting your nightmares to work to help your dream dreams blossom at night! here’s what i’m gonna do! i’m gonna translate your nightmares into music for you to fall asleep and dream to – now hear me out – that’s to keep your nightmares busy and contented, a slow and methodical repurposing. in their new lush dreamscape form, your nightmares will get to remain close and more companionable than ever as they churn through their energies both harmlessly and very helpfully by opening a dream portal for you to enter so you can dream your most glorious dreams into existence. wow, that feels like friendship.

[friendship whirls in a trippy pulsing color squiggle]

tell me your nightmares.

so count on me, alexa dexa, an experienced and very delightful nightmare wrangler – perhaps indeed the world’s only nightmare wrangler, to wrangle your nightmares. letting the horrors dissolve into sweet sonic beds to rest our heads upon as we dream deeply and sweetly for our own purposes of creation.

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